The Chaos & Order Of Romance & Love

I believe that I may be one of many rare cases who’ll never truly come to comprehend what romance is and nor do I feel the necessity to enhance any growth towards this. I highly believe that I was born with the inability to not feel the true value of this ‘beauty’ which people call it so and so. Afore my primordial instinct being still sprung towards action back and forth, my inner senses have it under control. It’s mere alchemy of my conscious and unconscious parables that control, regulate, and flow this state of mind from its microcosmic brethren. For the longest, I’ve suffered from this frequent interaction, but it becomes clearer day by day that it is indeed my own illusion that has produced this new reality of mazes and labyrinths governed by strings of ethereal and stagnant relations.

During my recent study of spirituality and philosophy, I came under lots of incidences where renowned philosophers and polymaths suffered from almost the same disease that I’m currently suffering from. Some had actual celibacy, while others were naturally tainted by its pre-determined presence- in other words, asexuality. They may have considered themselves to be not efficacious at all, but I wouldn’t go as far as to conclude that- not that I consider myself to be efficacious nor will I ever be able to accomplish such a feat. Their minds and consciousness were constantly governed by strings of curiosity and ponder; thus, the nihilistic appearance of an inseparable deity had scrutinized their dreams and invaded their gardens of Eden. It’s not my implication that they were exploited by a radical, or normalized belief system, or fundamental value, but their synonymous appearances may have had a huge worldwide phenomenon in the coming of the eradication of an illusory subconsciousness. That’s of course, not to abandon the value of what already remained of religious values, but it already had inspired an ideology, which remained absent of the idea of a literary form of love- again, it’s not to imply that platonic love hasn’t existed before, but in the modern age, it’s a lot more common to find romantic relationships than platonic ones; that said, the idea of platonic relationship has been slowly coming to light in the recent decade or so forth. The idea that a love or relationship may exist within a logical structure sounds sound enough, but what we’re forgetting is that the amount of unconscious that’s being hidden from the front stage is still truly another road of mystery left for the unveiling of yet another wonderful structure of machinery. May it be romance or love without any desires, the unconscious part is what regulates and stimulates our being of forthcoming feelings and the further unexplored leave a hole for more mystic and perhaps, more phenomenal discoveries for the coming ages.

It’s probably in my best comprehension, that the love that’s formed within a romantic relationship doesn’t really come from a core being of a human. It’s executed in a way which symbolizes the Earth being engulfed in the Sun’s way since its time has come to become red giant- it’s probably not the best analogy, but try to get a good picture of what I tried to depict, it’s really just a conditional reminisce of fantasies being put forth by an unconscious desire, followed by the order of chaos. It’s quite blatant that in forming desires, we eventually form the determination for a chaos to occur in order for the order itself to come to claim its throne as it always does. Since lust is what keeps the romance alive at the core, without its presence, it becomes either platonic or pseudo-platonic (Platonic being one without many internal feelings or sexual desires in put; pseudo-platonic being the mix of both logical, internal and sexual, however with an absence of common desires.).

It may not seem like the best maze to step on, but it’s a form of suffering we must all endure in our lives, whether we like it or not. With that being stated, it’s also mandatory to keep a keen sight for the veil that’s worn by the desires themselves, for their allegory is but another obstacle for our unconscious to get through.

P.S. I oblige everyone to not take any of these words into their heads and fondle on with its strings. Take it lightly, but think it through. These are just mere words based on infinite comprehensions. 

Let's Take A Deep Breath

This isn't for the faintest of hearts or minds, this is just fantasy written within the faults of our own demise. It's the burden of our primal ancestors, it's the burden of the molecules that make us up and the burden of the stardust that molded together to gradually flourish life. It's our burden.

Our burden stands right in front of what we ought to proceed, it's like taking a ride from one end of the galaxy- wishing to kickback and enjoy,  to settling on some random planet with glamorous beauty of life, one beautiful enough to attract and invite our dopamine due to its uncommon and rare flavour. Our instincts were built so to do so, in order to keep the survival of our species. It's our burden to procreate and spread our agenda and influence all over the matrix.

This isn't just beauty, but also a sin.

For some, it may be the most beautiful of all arts that they'll ever experience; however, to some it's just not the way to go, it's just not ever about settling, it's all about exploring widely and freely without any restraint and settlement of responsibilities. It really astonished me when I was growing up, I've always held quite the opposition to settlements itself and still do. I never comprehended why people forsook their beautiful childhood behind in order to settle in for adulthood where they knew that fun would be out of the question- not to stereotype the thing in general, but that's how it seems.
As soon as the flower blooms, its objective isn't to stop blooming, it's to keep blooming until it withers away and joins back with its cosmic neighbors.

Life is fun, life is an experience, life is that one dream where we finally got to feel how it feels to be alive, yet failed to realise that there wasn't supposed to be any purpose or goals in this dream. We all made it up, because we wanted to feel like we were going somewhere trying to be satisfied. I guess we never tried to be happy even once, we don't even know what happiness is. Happiness is our constructed way of being partially satisfied, after all. It really doesn't exist at the point we delve. It only comes when we know how to love, and in order to love, we cease ourselves of our conservation of playing our norms. It'll still sound like quite the madman's imagination and since it's so even now, it's really up to us to move forward however we can. No one can force anyone to change anyone else's minds, it's really up to us, it's really dependent on how conscious we are willing to be or not. The secret teachings of all ages isn't just handed down to everyone, we got to work our way up to it, and that's when we'll realise that the secret was right next to us all our lives. Our demeanor isn't what'll dictate the future, it's our willingness to be conscious about our situation as a whole or not. 

Where I'm standing at right now, in my late teens, I'm still perplexed. I've indeed been struggling with it a lot and resisting it is not the best thing in the entire world, but it actually does serve an advantageous consequence in the long run. Albeit, I do intend to keep going this way, there might be a certain point where the primordial instinct may fire up with its maximum potential and that's the point where my radar should be clear of all opportunities, otherwise disasters might be headed towards my way. I still wish to remain the curious child I was with continuous fantasies about the life in general, that was true happiness and the major growth spurt that everyone should probably have again.

The age where we stop dreaming is the age when we turn into full-bound adults.

Adulthood is the point where we learn about our dreams, and curiosities and explore them further no matter the bounds or whatever they may be.