I'm Bangladeshi and I'm Not

The title of this post is as confusing and deceiving as many other clickbait links on the internet.

To what do we owe the meat of this post ? 

Today’s post has been inspired by… well my identity: one of my identities as a human for the past 20 years. Ever since I was around 3 years of age, I was introduced to my nationality. I obviously wasn’t aware of the denotative or connotative meaning behind having a nationality or being from a certain region of the world. It only struck me as something that happened or came by chance. I did take a minimal amount of pride in it, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that I ever said ‘I am proud to be a Bangladeshi’. I don’t think those words will ever come out of my mouth. It’s close to impossible now, considering my ideologues and beliefs. 

It’s quite funny how I turned out to be a complete anti-nationalist and anti-patriot. I say it’s one of my better outcomes as a human being and perhaps an evolution within my species. 

I wasn’t always a complete anti-nationalist or anti-patriot. My experience paved the way for it gradually. My journey started all the way back in the late 2000s. I don’t know how many schools make its students pledge allegiance to the flag and their local or regional anthem; however, mine was pretty strict about it considering it was a private school. Although I never retaliated against the pledge, I have to be honest about the fact that I didn’t even feel remotely proud about pledging my allegiance to a country that I was a national of via my parents. Obligation doesn’t necessarily mean that one’s actually proud to do service or feel strongly about it. 

Teenhood didn’t change anything. It only gave me further reasons to ‘dislike’ my country and detach from the feeling of having a ‘home’ in just this country. I have a confession: I never really felt that the country I lived in for a decade was my home. I still had some attachment left from living in the Middle East for the first decade or so of my life. I did feel like I was part of that country since I grew up most of my early childhood there but that’s something almost every child would feel. There was always this notion that I was being shoved to feel proud or be part of a group I didn’t ask to be part of, similar to religion and culture and so on & forth. There were 2 things that were being shoved into my identity: religion and nationality. 

The religion part shall be saved for a separate post in the distant future. 

Nationality was always part of my surroundings and it’s the first thing you’re asked about whenever one meets a stranger from a different part of the world- since it’s the closest thing to one’s ethnicity or race. That’s not the issue here, one can say that they’re from a certain region of the world but still choose to identify as a non-nationalist or non-patriot. The issue arises from being shoved to take pride in it or do it simply out of being born to that particular by chance. One can continue their long line of cultural traditions and stuff for all anyone cares. Nationalism or patriotism isn’t a matter of being loyal to your country, it’s a matter of putting oneself at risk for irrational dilemmas and ethical decisions. Favouring sides has only worked for the short-term and doesn’t necessarily guarantee hope for the long-term. This is mainly an issue surrounding the study of identity in a very superficial perspective. Many factors come into play, one of them being nationality - which is why I’m discussing this vital information here. 
How we choose to identify also shapes a bit of how we tend to behave and form our ideologies. For me, the identity of nationality didn’t matter much since childhood. For some people, it’s almost alien to even think of detaching from the idea of patriotism or nationalism, similar to devotees of certain religions and ideologies. It’s totally okay to have different perspectives.

I’ll share mine:

My reason behind rejecting any form of  pride in my nationality is firstly from my own interests alone. I still have my passport, and citizenship and all but I’m not obligated to feel as if I’m part of this group. I am human and was born on this planet, within this universe. That’s about it. The rest of it won’t matter at all objectively. There isn't a privilege to be maintained from taking pride in ‘chance’ or ‘probability’; it’s just a dictation upon our oblivious and ignorant behaviour. A rational person doesn’t have any need for social obligation or image, its utmost goal is to process, function and proceed towards its curiosity of reality- of course without harming others. I argue that taking pride in these factors of identity are potentially and have been harmful for millennia. We can’t really reject it either; some form of identity will still remain since that’s a philosophical enigma that none has been able to solve.  What we can do is take matters into hands with the ones we’re already aware of; minimization of conflict and power is necessary for human civilisation to progress. The only chaos that we should be allowed to have is with our own minds only- or maybe not. 
That’s it for this post; stay in bed for more next time.

Quotes for reference:

“If you worship money and things — if they are where you tap real meaning in life — then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already — it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power — you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on.”
― David Foster Wallace, This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life

“As far as I am concerned, I resign from humanity. I no longer want to be, nor can still be, a man. What should I do? Work for a social and political system, make a girl miserable? Hunt for weaknesses in philosophical systems, fight for moral and esthetic ideals? It’s all too little. I renounce my humanity even though I may find myself alone. But am I not already alone in this world from which I no longer expect anything?”

― Emil Cioran, On the Heights of Despair